Strategies to not be included. Free to use.

Diploma work, Academy of Fine Arts in Prague

Jakub Valenta

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Strategy: To do a work of unclear extent

I influence others.
The impact remains unknown.
I call it the only important thing.

I was convincing J. that the video depicts central Bohemia.

I am doing everything to make her like me.

I wanted him to understand that a military operation against\
the smugglers of migrants is not a good strategy.

I tried to inspire V. to establish a workshop in his tool rental centre.

I called my schoolmates' attention to the fact that the artwork was derivative.

I defended nonuniform headings of these posters.

I offered A. my webcam. I want him to use it.

I advised the curator of the exhibition how to install my work.

I showed V. how to play the video from his computer.

I didn’t want to invite the professor to our happening.

Strategy: To erase yourself

I asked my friends if they would be able to erase
all photographs on which I am.

Sure. Should I do that right now?

Yes, but I don’t know where all the photos are.

Yes, if you do the same with mine.

I guess only those on which there is only you.

Yes, but not those that I really like.

I suppose, but I don’t have time for that.

I would only blacken you out.

There would have to be some tool that would be able to find and destroy all of them.

No.

I don’t think I have any.

Strategy: To be unsellable

You are allowed to steal this work.

The poster is fixed with small nails in the corners. It can be easily\
rolled after you pull them out.

I have instructed the employees of the gallery not to prevent you\
from doing that.

Strategy: To discredit yourself

I collected everything discrediting
that others remember I have ever done.
Now only what is missing here is discrediting.

My handwriting is horrible.

I am neck holding my classmate.

I am trying to reach 10 crowns stuck in a lamp.

Speaking to a teacher: Shit is happening here!

I am writing a dumb short story ``Littleheavenville, Littlehellville''.

I am mocking the victims of 9/11.

I am showing my penis.

I am writing a filthy text message to a classmate. It made her feel very unhappy.

I am putting marihuana in teacher’s pipe.

I am making racist jokes.

I am vomiting.

I love a classmate.

I am flunking math.

I am doing something strange out of love on Jiřího z Poděbrad.

I am lying down on a visitor sleeping on our couch.

I am snorting drugs.

MDMA has no effects on me any more. I want 2CB.

I consider art that doesn’t fit on a USB stick to be suspicious.

I am throwing papers furiously in Auschwitz.

I have a disgusting moustache.

Strategy: To do the same again

I want to repeat the same discussions.

I’ve moved to a new house

where there is like in my previous house

a sign saying ``lock the door''.

I hadn’t been locking the door before

which forced us all to look for a consensus.

Now I’m again not locking the door.

Strategy: To not disrupt reality

Everything I ever did
became part of reality.

Now when I introduce myself I lie.

Strategy: To hand over to advertisement

I am devoted only to what is
not informative and doesn't make one think.

I don’t work with image, with paint, with shape, with material, with substance, with sound, with light, with day and night, with framing, with geometry, with sleep, with dark, with photography, with video, with thoughts, with ideas, with theories, with philosophy, with mathematics, with amount, with size, with nonsense, with people, with feelings, with apathy, with temperature, with nudity, with exploration, with growth, with change, with situations, with discussion, with conversations, with writing, with motion, with confession, with belief, with money, with economy, with politics, with society, with pressure, with television, with radio, with electricity, with force, with transmission, with mail, with sport, with body, with love, with death, with manipulation, with fire, with family, with drugs, with speed, with direction, with information, with overview, with statistics, with space, with architecture, with nature, with animals, with ground, with air, with water, with science, with universe, with effects, with frustration, with fraud, with poverty, with wealth, with cars, with technique, with machines, with war, with experiments, with violence, with work, with actions, with choice, with emptiness, with theft, with finding, with truth, with lie, with letting go, with throwing out, with future, with memory, with time, with copy, with repetition, with identity, with similarity, with chance, with history, with treason, with figures, with heroes, with literature, with guidelines, with lists, with games, with painters, with art, with myself, with anyone, with paradoxes, with boredom.

Strategy: To express yourself with only what was unintended